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Sister, Give Yourself Permission: A Hot Mess Manifesto for Pursuing Pleasure
“What do you do for fun?”
I hate this question. Because I have absolutely not had enough fun over the last few years.
Life has been heavy, and I carried a lot of the heaviness in my heart, letting it weigh me down. Perhaps more than I should have. Or perhaps I should have just learned to put it down every now and then, take breaks from the darkness, and remind myself more of the light that still remained in the world.
I let it envelop me too much — even now. I realized that over the past few days, when I took a moment out of my work day to walk my dog around the park near my home. Or just sit on my patio and stick my face in the sun while chatting and laughing with a sweet soul on the phone.
In those moments, I felt such peace and happiness and was so grateful to feel it even for a hot minute in between work and To Do’s and kids and the bigger stuff of life. But as blessed as I am in my life and to feel some semblance of peace in 2020, I want more.
I. Want. Fun.
Of course, in the middle of a pandemic, fun is now relative. I used to enjoy going to the movies or out to dinner with friends…things that are more limited now, or not possible at all. So coming up with fun things to do that are safe and that now I might have to do alone whether I want to or not, is more challenging than it used to be.
And I also find myself feeling jealous of friends who have hobbies that are passions for them.
I have a friend who loves to golf, and readily admits that he is obsessed. If he isn’t playing, he is watching it on TV or hanging out in his golf room. No joke — his golf room. For the love. I absolutely adore such passion in people. And when he’s not playing or watching golf, he’s cooking himself a gourmet meal for dinner. Just for himself. (Mad respect.)
I have another friend who reads constantly. She will pick up a new book as soon as she finishes the last one and will spend as many hours as she can, lost in the fiction world of her choosing. And another friend who gets lost in words in another way. She is one of the most prolific writers I know, crafting articles, books, and poems in the time it seems to…
